My dad and his wife just returned from a three plus week Viking Cruise down the Seine River.  (Yes, I want to be them when I grow up.)  We met for dinner once they returned and as often happens when we are catching up, he told me of someone that has passed away recently.  This time it was a dear family friend, the wife of my dad’s best friend from high school.  They were in each other’s weddings, and they were a big part of my brother’s and my childhood.  So I sat down and wrote dear Fred a letter, sharing all that their family means to me. I think sometimes the best gift we can give someone who is grieving is the gift of reminiscing of the memories we have of them. I always love it when someone mentions my loved ones in conversation that are no longer here with me on this earth. I hope my letter caught Fred on a day when he needed something to boost his spirits. He and Anita endured a great deal of pain in their life, but they stayed true to each other until the end.

Dear Fred,

My dad told me the other night that your precious wife Anita had passed away earlier this month.  I’m so sorry to hear that and I know you will miss her greatly. When he told me the news, my mind started filling with all my memories of your family, so I thought I would share them in hopes that it might put a little smile on your face.

For as long as I can remember, I equated the road trip from Fremont, Nebraska to the mountains of Colorado, with a stop at the Fiedler’s on Dixie Street in North Platte.  Exactly one half of the way in between those two destinations was the home of my dad’s best friend.

Groomsman Fred on the far right, August of 1957.

Arriving at your house was like “home away from home”. Your three sons, Mike, Mark and Mitch (always said in order to remember who was who), would be there to greet Ty and I, and grand adventures would commence.  At night we would pile into the bunk beds and take a while to fall asleep because of all the chatter. Even though I was the only girl among all the boys, I never minded.  I always picture Anita in the kitchen, and I can hear the sound of her thick German accent.  I love that her accent never diminished the entire time she lived in America. Your house in fact was like a little piece of Germany.  The cozy kitchen always felt like a little chalet with all the trim work and knick-knacks.  I was so impressed when you built your big two-story barn next door to your house, and we made the trip out for the “barn warming” party. If I recall there was a lot of beer and Hormel sausage served!  One of my fondest memories was the time your backyard flooded. I’m not sure what caused the flood, but it sure made for a great time. You happened to have a row boat ready to go, and we paddled around the backyard for hours!

Celebrating 25 Years with Fred & Anita…

We also had the tradition of seeing you every Christmas Eve at your parent’s home in Fremont.  Their little green house on the other side of the viaduct was picture perfect year round. We would stop in before Midnight Mass for a visit and your mother would always serve us Christmas cookies. I just remember feeling so cozy and warm inside their home, and I love that we included that in our Christmas Eve every year.

Sadly, some of my memories are hard ones. When my father told me that your son Mike had been killed in a car accident during his time in the Navy, it rocked me to the core because we were the same age.  I was in college at the time, and our family of four traveled to the funeral.  It was my first military funeral and the sound of the seven gun salute literally shook my bones. It was also the very first time I saw my father cry. I honestly felt like the light went out in Anita’s eyes after that.  I always felt a little guilty every time we were with you after that. I was sure my presence reminded her of Mike, and what he would be doing in life if he was still here.

As I grew older, the times I got to see you became less frequent, but every time I did, it was always such a comfort to see you both.  You give the best hugs, and Anita was always so kind to me. You came to my wedding and gave us the gift of a beautiful handmade cradle, because I had told you I always wanted one. You were there for my mother’s funeral, and I know it comforted my dad greatly to have his lifelong friends there for him.

So as you adjust to life without your beloved Anita, I just want to say your life matters greatly to me and my family. Now that it’s just dad and me, I cherish even more the memories our families made together. Thank you for being such a consistent source of friendship to us.

Love Always, Julie