So a few weeks ago my nephew Turner posted on Facebook, “Hey Parents! I have a writing prompt for you– If you could pen a letter to the “new parent” version of yourself, what would it read?” I promised him to stay tuned for my thoughts. And since right now my newsfeed is full of “back to school” and “off to college” posts, I thought what a better time to share some thoughts.

But then it dawned on me I didn’t have to create my own points. Exactly two years ago as my daughter hugged us good-bye in the parking lot across from her freshman dorm, she handed us a sealed letter. We waited until we drove the three hours home from West Palm Beach to Celebration before we opened it. Good thing we did because lots of tears ensued.

So from the pen of our youngest of four children, here is what she thinks we did “well” as parents…

Dear Mom and Dad,

 Congratulations! Just like all four of your children have been accepted to academies, you too have been accepted to the prestigious association of “empty nesters”. You have successfully raised four children and bravely prepared them to step in the “real world” with grace. In short, you have clearly done something right. You have raised us with such care and taught us to chase our dreams. I don’t know how you did it, but here are some things that I noticed might have helped you in this task called parenting…

1. You have raised me to first trust God. Not you, but an ever-loving Savior. This plan was fool proof. This God has given me such confidence and helped me live my life with zeal and complete freedom. I know He has bigger plans for me than I could ever imagine. You gave me a safe environment to grow in my faith and pushed me to turn to Him first. You are living examples of what disciples should look like. Thank you for teaching me to lean on the Rock.
2. You discouraged laziness. I remember summers when Dad would force me to call up a friend and make plans. Although I found it extremely uncomfortable at the time, it helped me become the person I am today. You two pushed me to get involved and stay busy. I love the discomfort I feel on unplanned days and I hope this drive pushes me to do amazing things. Thank you for teaching me that quitting was never an option.
3. You have lived with whimsy. I have always appreciated how atypical our family was. I laugh more in my own home than anywhere else. I have learned from you that being unique is the absolute best. The Darr’s live with a light and that is something to admire. Thank you for encouraging all of us in our crazy passions. Never for a second have you discouraged us from running bare foot towards our dreams. I will miss our spontaneous road trips to football games and randomly going to the Polynesian to get ice cream. I believe this town should feel privileged to have had the not-so-perfect Darr’s in their town. Thank you for allowing us to be a beautiful mess.
4. Being raised in Celebration was a dream. Many found it bothersome living in such a small town but I loved it all. I loved the big windows in my bedroom. I loved the sunshine and the afternoon rain on my tin roof. I loved being able to hear the Disney fireworks every night. I’ve memorized the sound of Mom’s footsteps to my door and the sound of Dad’s laugh from the living room. I’ll miss the sound of people coming and going. I’ve learned so much about life and love from the roommates. I’ll miss the hospitality 1011 Persimmon Street provided. You could make a party out of any occasion. I’ll miss being a NEV ride away from everything I’ve known and come to love. It was incredible making magic here. Thank you for allowing me to thrive in Celebration.
5. You loved. You have loved the boys and me with such unexplainable passion. I can’t even begin to tell you how it feels to have parents who are ALWAYS there. Whether a small football game performance or a national competition you were present. You are such proud parents and bring us up in conversation any time you can. At most times you believe in me more than I believe in myself. Your love is so Christ-like. I’ve never doubted it because I feel it in the way you say my name and the way you watch me dance. I feel it in the way you tear up after I make an accomplishment or realize that I’m hurt. I feel it in the way you have been so strong to watch four of your children leave. Thank you for your unconditional adoration.

 I don’t believe I say it enough but thank you. Thank you for the love, adventures, and laughter. If I had to describe growing up in one word it would be “beautiful”. Life is beautiful with you as parents. The world feels safer, delightful, and worth exploring. I hope watching your kid’s move away brings to light what an incredible job you’ve done. I pray that God blesses your remaining empty next years with marvelous adventures. Continue to love each other the way you deserve to be loved. Dad, don’t take Mom’s beauty for granted, she is powerfully lovely from head to toe. Mom, make sure you laugh at Dad for he is passionately hilarious. Here’s to you! The parents who encourage their kids to explore the world and always welcome them back home with open arms. I don’t deserve you as parents, I know that, and I thank God I was blessed with you.

See ya real soon, 

Ali Darr

Yes, I think she (and her three brothers) are pretty special. There are so many times as parents we doubt ourselves, and then you get to this milestone moment and receive a gift like this. And you say, “Wow! I guess we did pretty good!”

So there you go Turner, not from my lips, but from your cousin’s…

Moving the bike into safe keeping! These are Ali’s wheels to get to the beach!

First day of college for Drew, Spencer, Cameron and Ali…