Has anyone else been thinking about their loved ones in heaven during this unprecedented pandemic? I sure have, and especially my brother and sister-in-law, Ty and Terri. This has come in the form of two different thoughts… First, I admit that at times being in heaven with them seems enviable during this trying season.  And second, if Ty & Terri were still here, they would definitely be the ones I would want to be quarantined with! So on what would have been Terri’s 64th birthday, I’m re-posting the blog I wrote for her 60th.  Lots of great memories shared, that just warm my heart, and I hope yours.

Reposted from 4/16/2020:

As I begin writing my April blog, it is “National Sibling Day”! Not sure who came up with this one—probably Facebook, but I like it. It’s good to take time to express our love and appreciation for those we grew up with. This day stings a bit—my first “National Sibling Day” since the car accident that took my brother and sister in law’s lives. I heard a quote recently that resonated with me. It was something like, “When you lose a sibling, you lose the person you can reminisce with about your childhood.” I’m so blessed to have my only sibling’s book that he wrote about the journey of founding The Hope Center (A Thousand Screaming Mules) because in that book he shared many of the details about our childhood. And then there are Ty’s sermons where he would often share snapshots from our youth. They always make me smile and I’m so grateful for the access I have to them.

But this is the month I want to write about one special lady that would have been turning the big 6-0 this Saturday, April 16th, my beloved sister-in-law Terri Alexander Schenzel. It honestly stinks that she won’t be here to celebrate with on this momentous milestone. I’m sure Ty, her children, and her many, many friends would have made sure it was celebrated in a big way. Last year Ty surprised her by flying their daughter Annie in from New York for her birthday. I loved watching the video and hearing her crying-laughter when the big “reveal” of her gift took place!

So in honor of her life, I want to share some great memories that come to my mind when it comes to my relationship with this feisty little dark haired, brown eyed woman that stole my brother’s heart.

My earliest memories of Terri are through letters and phone calls from California. That is where her friendship with my brother started during their time as graduate students at International School of Theology in San Bernardino. I was planning my wedding and she was invited to come and meet the family, until Ty “un-invited” her! Can you believe it? He was going through the whole, “Is this relationship with Terri in God’s will?” thing, which now just cracks me up, because they were such an incredible couple together. Terri and I never let him live that one down! But then ten short months after our wedding, there we were in Morgantown, West Virginia at THEIR wedding. And what a wedding it was. Think, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, only replace the Greeks with Catholic Italian and Lebanese aunts, uncles and cousins coming out of the woodwork! Whenever you walked into Terri’s parents’ home there were always people coming and going, but they could never leave without first being fed something by Virginia. I know Terri inherited her love for cooking and her gift of hospitality from her mother. Their wedding reception was at the Morgantown Hotel, owned by her Aunt, and it was seriously like walking into the midnight buffet on a Princess cruise! The food was overflowing everywhere you looked! My husband and I had the pleasure of driving them to Pittsburgh to their honeymoon hotel before they flew off to Captiva the next morning. I remember them heading up the elevator and thinking, “This is the start of something really great!” How right I was…

Fast forward a bit and the late 80’s and early 90’s were full of babies, babies and more babies! Terri and I were blessed to bring four beautiful children each into the world. Our first babies, Drew and Emily, were born less that two months apart. We took Drew on his first airplane out to California to meet his new cousin. It was always never ending laughter when Ty, Terri, Mike and I would get together. We filmed the classic “Ty and Terri Earthquake Prevention” video on our gigantic Toshiba video camera (link posted below). We grabbed a trusted babysitter that trip and the four of us ventured off to Disneyland for the day to make some more memories. Then as God would see fit, we soon were both led back to Omaha church positions with babies in tow! It was so great being in the same town while all our babies were young. Once in awhile we would sneak in a double date. The one that sticks out in my mind was going to see the movie, Not Without My Daughter where Sally Fields plays the desparate mother trying to escape Iran. Picture two pregnant women, sobbing loudly in the theatre, to the point where our husbands were a bit embarrassed (and trust me these were husbands that were hard to embarrass).

Ty and Terri Earthquake Prevention

The early parenting years were an amazing time to bond as sisters. Though being in ministry is somewhat of a “package deal”, we were technically stay-at-home moms. Terri and I, along with a few other close friends, formed our “Care/Share Group”.  We would get a couple of homeschooled babysitters and put them with all our kids in the basement, and then relish a few hours of uninterrupted girlfriend time to share trials, victories and prayers with each other. This is where my friendship grew deeper with the sister I never had growing up. Terri went on to be a favorite guest speaker at MOPS (Mother of Pre-Schoolers) meetings, and I wasn’t surprised. She had the heart of an encourager and a counselor. She above all had the heart of a wife that was devoted to supporting her husband, and she loved encouraging other young mothers to do the same.

When a Texas job ended our beautiful “living in the same town” dream, it was a very sad day for us. Think of the scene in Color Purple when Celie and Nettie are ripped from one another. Terri’s and my tears were flowing as we drove away from their house, vowing that we would someday be together again! Well sure enough, God brought us back to Omaha six short months later! You can guess who was there waiting for me with open arms. We enjoyed a few more years of raising our children together, before Florida called our name and we had to say goodbye again.

Perhaps my greatest debt I owe to Terri is the love and care she showed my mom during her battle with cancer. Terri was so faithful to be there for my mom in Omaha when I was stuck in Florida, taking her to doctor appointments and chemo treatments. I know she held the hand of many a friend that walked through battles of their own. Terri is one of those people that many I’m sure thought was their “best friend”. And you know what? I’m sure she was, because she had the capacity to do that—her heart was much, much bigger than most.

 

These last few years were precious ones, as Terri and I shared the joy of watching our children blossom into young adults. I think we both truly loved every season of parenting. Whenever we had the chance to catch up with each other, we would always focus on how our children were doing in life. Our goal was to be at all eight of the “Schenzel cousin” weddings. Oh the laughs we shared at Drew and Mary’s wedding in Atlanta. Terri was given a very special job at the end of their rehearsal. The wedding coordinator handed her the communion plate and goblet with strict orders to take very good care of it until the next day, as it was a hand-made, “one of a kind” set, given to her by a friend from Europe. Well somehow when Terri got out of their minivan, the plate slid right past her onto the ground and cracked in half. She was mortified! We couldn’t let her live it down—“Terri—it was your ONLY JOB, and you blew it!” But oh how we laughed that night! The next cousin’s wedding is my final memory on earth with Terri. I was out front of Sokol Hall with her and Ty as they hugged and waved good-bye to their son Turner and his bride Jade as they took off for their honeymoon. What a crazy circle of life, almost 30 years earlier I had been there to send them off on their honeymoon.

Cousin Wedding # 3, so blessed to be all together!

So what can I do to honor this amazing woman who filled my life and so many other lives with her love and devotion? The best I can offer is simply to love her children and grandchildren well, and to encourage them in any way I can in their journey of life. I know Terri invested great love, care, prayer and wisdom into their lives which will carry each of them far.

Happy 60th Terri! I’m sure there is sufficient celebration in heaven, but today I raise a glass and toast to you, my beautiful sister!